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October 1, 2004

Dante's journey into customer service at Union Gas

So the gas bill at my previous house was in my name.

BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!!!

I moved out in the middle of August but had to wait for September for my other roommates to leave before I could cancel my account. The end of August I was busy working at Bomber so it wasn't until a couple of days into September that I managed to cancel the account. I did this over the internet (the convenience and lack of interaction with a customer service waiting line appealed to me). I didn't receive the email confirmation that I was supposed to get so I braved customer service the next business day.

This was the first call I had made to hell. I waited on hold for a while and finally talked to a representative who informed me that the web request had gone through and that it would take two days for the account to be shut down and that there was about $35 remaining to be paid. Mistaking this as actual closure to my relation with Union Gas, I went back to my normal routines (or lack there of).

About the third week of September I receive a bill in the mail for $122 from Union Gas. This amount represented the Equal Billing Payment (an option to sort of average out your gas usage so bills in the winter aren't so shocking) for the month of September. This amount was to be taken from my bank account at the end of September. Curious as to how I should be responsible for a bill when my account was closed I made my second call to hell (they've got a 888 number). I asked why I received this bill when I was told that I'd managed to close the account earlier. I was told that it was a mistake and that there was only a balance of ~$35 remaining and that it would be deducted at the end of the month. I felt somewhat satisfied. Free again.

Now it comes to the end of the month and lo and behold I notice $122 goes missing from my bank account!!!! I call in for the third time to hell... I should've asked to talk to Lucifer the first fucking time to make sure something got done. I inform the rep of my situation and decide to add some urgency to the situation by explaining that with the extra deduction on the bill, I may bounce my rent cheque..... Union Gas cares not whether I get evicted of course, I'm in an apartment now... no longer a customer. Digging into the matter further, the rep explains that yes, my account was closed on the 9th of September. The problem was that no one at Union Gas associated my closed fucking account with money no longer coming from my account. Apparently, if I say I no longer want a service, I should be more specific and say, I NO LONGER WANT TO PAY FOR THE SERVICE AS WELL. She then has the cajones to ask what I want her to do?! I say I want my money back (biatch). She says she can't do that. So I ask what the hell is going to happen. She says that on my next billing the account will be closed and that the remainder of what I owe (~$35, as stated many times before) will be deducted from the credit of $122 I have on my account. Again, where's my fucking money... oh yeah, when I receive the bill I can then request a cheque for the credit that remains on my account.

I can honestly say that this was the worst breakup I've ever had. It seemed to be going well, but then Union got weird. They appeared to take it well; then it was like they took my favourite sweater when they moved out. It's over, don't you get it? I don't want to call you anymore, just give me back my sweater you psycho-hose-beast!!

Posted by Dr.Unk at October 1, 2004 9:50 AM

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Posted by: Big Mark at October 1, 2004 11:41 AM

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